Over the past week a lot has happened to me, most of you will already know the situation. Over the past few days a lot has also hit me and I’ve had quite a lot of time to think about a lot of things. At the moment I’m discovering my current state of mind, I feel really positive and content with everything right now. I feel like a whole new person, a lot of new interests and life changes are happening, they will also continue to happen and will make me the person I deserve to be.
One year and seven months ago I never wanted a relationship, in all honesty commitment and stability was never on my mind, not to say I didn’t want it, but in all of that time it’s been great. The memories, moments spent up until the last breaking point. Arguments happened and feelings were strong. I don’t regret ever being with my previous spouse but I dislike how things ended. But I have learnt to not hate, but just to accept what the situation was and to move on. I was probably in the most horrible state of mind last week, being betrayed, cheated on, not being good enough for that person and watching them being taken away from you to another human being is the most horrible feeling imaginable.
But you have to go outside the box, be the stronger person and learn that moaning and groaning isn’t going to fix anything. You must find the strength to move on, even if that other person is bringing you down, punishing you for their own mistakes. To love someone, you have to let them go for them to be happy, even if it’s yourself.
Over the past couple of days, I have gained a lot of support which has helped me to become a lot stronger and more independent. I’m starting to do things I’ve always wanted, things I’ve talked about or have forgotten about I’m actually starting to do. I find my current interests aren’t enough any more. I love Gaming and watching a lot of media but in the end, it’s just unsociable…
I’ve taken up a healthy lifestyle where I refuse to eat food that is bad for your body, processed food is a big NO NO for me. I’ve resorted to healthy eating; a lot of fruit, vegetables and water is currently flowing through my body and I feel so refreshed, more awake and determined to do almost anything. I’ve taken up physical exercise as a daily routine now, it helps with my state of mind where if I feel a little bit down, I just keep thinking the positive and I feel as though I can achieve anything. I think that being physically fit is a really good feeling, you don’t feel as tired and worn down as being unhealthy.
I’m finding myself enjoying a lot of music, bands and artists I wouldn’t usually be interested in, I’m enjoying. Yes, old music I used to love is also on my mind as well. I’ve had more social interaction this week than I have in over a year. I’ve enjoyed being out with other people, it’s given my socially awkward feeling a bit of a boost. I can literally join any conversation and make others laugh around me. I think enjoying yourself is something which keeps us in a healthy state of mind.
Next year I have my mind set on moving out, I currently have a place to go but in order for that to happen I need to achieve a better paid job than my current low paid job. I have two possible career paths I want to take up at least one if I can. The first being what I have just stated, achieving a better job where I am financially stable enough to begin my independent life of being on my own. My second career path is to join University and study something I have gratefully missed, Forensic Science. I’m quite intelligent when it comes to Science related issues and I’ve noticed my maturity has gone up quite a lot, along with my intelligence. I’m remembering quite a lot of intellectual subjects which I have previously studied or watched. I have the correct qualifications to enter Forensics, but the cost of University is quite expensive. So that’s a barrier that could hold me back from entering the course.
I’m still figuring out my new and exciting personality which is getting better everyday. This is a new start for myself, a fresh start where I am relived that this has happened, because I’m excited to know what my future holds now. In a couple of weeks time, I will post another post just like this, how my life has progressed and gotten better. Thanks for reading, please leave comments at the very bottom. Daniel 😀